User Reviews

Joey Sweeney - Ardmore, PA, USA

I tried really hard to fuck Courtney Love. Really hard! In 1993, after she tore half of Zipperhead down in a fit of rag, I manage to calm her down and get her back to my dorm room. I put her on my favorite couch, Old Blue, and put on an import of Pretty on the Inside to show her that I dug her music. We smoke a joint and I showed her my poetry and then we started making out. Her nose was big back then so it kept hitting my emo-glasses. I was getting hot for her, so hot I creamed my pants before I could show her how I jam on the axe. I started with a new song I wrote called at that time "Celebrity Sweeney" (All my songs and bands have my surname in them). She liked it a great deal and began to compliment my cardboard slacks vigorously. I didn't know she would steal my song and rename it Celebrity Skin. That bitch steals everything. She even managed to steal all my Fleetwood Mac LPs. Anywho, after she listened to my hackneyed, self-absorbed performance, she did some herion, mumbled something like "Fuck Kurt", and passed out with her lipstick smeared face on my crotch. Ahhh, Old Blue, them were the days!

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